Foretold Deaths

Deaths. I know its not something everyone thinks about all the time or should think about at any time, but it's a pretty unavoidable thought isn't it? I mean, have you not thought for just one second what it would be like if you were going to die this way or that? What the world would be like without you for your friends and family? Or whether there's some reconciliation to get done before time runs out???

Now, what if each and everyone of us was told before hand, or maybe at sometime in our lives, the exact time and date of our deaths? And also how we will be making our grand exits. Will it make a difference then? Knowing exactly when your expiration date is, so to speak. Will it make a difference to you or your friends? Unless of course you'd rather keep it private. Still, will it make a difference to you? Will you be more content at the time of said death? Or will it not make a difference at all?

I mean, lets say I knew the exact details of my forth coming demise. I would probably settle any outstanding debts, thank everyone who needs thanking and maybe just write notes to people I think needs writing to. Best friends and family, for example. Saying how much I love them and the things I'd probably have left behind for them. I'd also sign an agreement for organ donation. If I have any functioning organs left at the time, of course. But still you know, these are things I'd do for people. What about me?

Would I happier when I die knowing that I've tried everything I could possibly try? Bungee jumping, sky diving, snorkeling, traveling the world, going on a safari, horse-back riding, hiking, jungle tracking and of course waking up to the person you love most next to you, knowing you're loved that much as well. Would I be happy doing all these things with one thing in mind? "I'd better do this before *dd/mm/yyyy*" And then, when I'm done, would I be happy knowing that I've done it all? Or is it just another day closer?

A friend of mine said "It should. That way, you can plan better" and that "if its unavoidable, why waste time being miserable? Now that you know how much time you've got, you can use it." But won't it still make you misserable in the end? This is why I have such great respect for all these patients out there who've been told just how much longer they have left to live. People. Just like you and me. The only difference is, they know when the end is. If it were me, I'd rather be put to sleep then and there. Than to have the balance of my life spent in depression and self pity. Counting the minutes and seconds to the black tie event.

And now what if you knew how you were going to die.

If it was a car crash, would you stay away from Luxury Cars, Limosines and Sport Cars? If it was a fire, would you stay away from camp fires, birthday cakes and nice, warm fireplaces? If it were AIDS, would you not have any kids? And if you were going to die in your sleep, would you not sleep at all? So I guess it's not a good thing being told when and how you're going to die. Then again, it would be good knowing too. That way, it wouldn't come as too much of a surprise. You would have been better prepared. But then, you can never be prepared when it comes to saying your 'Goodbye's, can you?

Anyway, the bottom line is, there isn't a difference. Don't take life for granted. Even if you live to be a hundred, its still too short. There's just no time to be depressed or to be wallowing in self-pity. And if you have the time, which I know you do, go spend it with someone who's not going to be around much longer. Don't pity them, just, help take their mind off the thought of the death that's coming their way. The Children's Cancer Ward is a good place to start =D

Go save a life. It might be your's you're saving at the same time.

Make that difference.

In Pursuit of HappYness

Movies, book, songs etc. always makes it seem as if happiness is a definite thing or something you might find at the end of a long time struggle. Even people always say "Oh, don't worry, you might be feeling this way now but it'll all go away soon enough and then you'll be happy." Really? Will I? Will it all just 'go away'? Or is happiness just something temporary? Like every other thing life has to offer? Is happiness really something where when you get it, you have it till the day you die?

What I think is that happiness comes and goes like the wind. You're never always struggling and neither will you always be happy. And it has absolutely nothing to do with your horoscope either. I'm sorry to say that but it just doesn't. The only thing that determines how happy you will be or how long you will be depends on the kind of decisions you choose to make in different but ordinary situations. If you would rather just sit in wallow in self-pity, even a blind man could see how happy you are or will ever be.

Then again, nobody is perfect and nobody makes the right decisions all the time. In the first place, there's is no right or wrong decision. Different decisions give different results, some better than the other. The point is, happiness really isn't something we were meant to pursue. It's more of something we should maintain. It has always been there staring at us. It could just slap us in the face and we would still not know about it! Some of us are just a bit blur that way, I guess. We should take advantage of the situation that's bringing us down instead of letting the situation take control over us.

Last Saturday at mass (at SFA, man I love that church!), the priest gave this story about this girl, Alice.

"One day, Alice was complaining to her dad about some problems she was facing. Being a chef, he then led her to the kitchen to try to calm her down using food. He put 3 pots of water onto the stove and started boiling them. In one pot, he put carrots, in the other eggs and in the third ground coffee. After about half an hour or so, he scooped out the carrots. He showed Alice how soft they had become. He explained to Alice that the water symbolized the problem.

After being in the water, the carrots became very soft and fell apart easily. He added that we should not let the problem turn us soft or gullible (or something like that..). Then he took out the eggs. He showed Alice how hard the eggs had become. He said that sometimes our problems turn our hearts hard. So much so it becomes hard for us to accept differences or to set aside our differences. Again, we should not let the problem do this to us. Finally he poured a little of the coffee into a cup and gave it to Alice. He said that we should be like the coffee. Although the problem did change us a little, we took advantage of the problem and turn it around to suit us. It was now no longer a problem."

In a nutshell, I think, no no.. I believe, that happiness is not something that was meant to be pursued but rather something that was meant to be maintained. It is temporary. But happiness is everywhere. You're just not looking hard enough. Be happy the you woke up this morning, be happy the sun is shinning, be happy you can actually see the sun. Then again, this is just my view on happiness. I don't know how you lot feel about it, but yea. I guess different people think differently. What I may think about happiness can or may seem like utter rubbish to you. But...... this is my blog so, too bad! Haha.

So, did Snow White, Cinderella and Chris Gardner 'live happily ever after'? I doubt it.

A day at Restoran Nelayan

Pictures I took at Restoran Nelayan, Lake Titiwangsa