Where do I even begin? It's never easy to be on either side. Whether you're the one making the apology or the one being apologised to, its a situation we (or rather, I) usually avoid to be in. But sometimes you can't really avoid it can you?
I was at church last Sunday and for the first time, I almost cried over the Lord's Prayer. The part we say "Forgive us our sins as we forgive those who sins against us." really brought tears to my eyes. Have I really forgiven all who's sinned against me? No.
You little hypocrite, I thought to myself.
And then I thought, OK maybe its time to just say "I'm sorry". Doesn't matter whose mistake it was, I just wanted to apologise for acting the way I did. I really did at the time but I haven't done it till now. Mixed emotions of anger, fear and a little pride still remain in me. So now that's got me thinking. Never mind MY apology, have I forgiven them? Does being angry with the person mean you've still not forgiven them? Even though what ever that has happened doesn't matter to you any more?
Now I've got a dilemma. Like as if my life isn't full of it already. How on earth do I clear my conscience here? How does one forgive? By just walking away? By accepting that its THEIR mistake and letting it go? Or by accepting that its OUR mistake and then let it go? Forgiving them by first asking for forgiveness? Sigh.
Life is short. I know. And heaven knows I really want to solve this but if its not the right time then I shouldn't rush things.
Right?
Anyway, this post is just me rambling at 1.45am. Ignore my ignorance =)
